Christmas is done for another year. I was the most relaxed I have been for Christmas in a long time. It was also one of my favourite Christmas Days for a while.

Over the years, there have been some amazing Christmases, but there have also been some not-so-brilliant ones. There are several reasons for the not-so-great. Some have been my own making, due to stress caused by my own desire to make everything perfect. Some have been hard due to the sadness that comes with divorce and the changes it brings, with kids going back and forth. There have been health issues, broken thumbs, and everything in between.

I was thinking about it on Boxing Day, as my husband and I sit around in our Christmas PJs well past a socially acceptable time of day to be in PJs. Life is not perfect at the moment, but it never is. However, we are thankful for all we have. At our family lunch, we took some time to go around the room and share what Christmas means to us, before my brother-in-law led us in prayer. It was such a reflective way to start the family Christmas meal. It put the focus back on Jesus. This year, we have devoted a significant amount of time to expressing gratitude for what we have. It really has a way of taking the stress out of the season.

For the first time ever, I concentrated on slowing down into the season and arriving at Christmas Day calm. I adopted the attitude that if it didn’t get done, it likely wasn’t that important. I didn’t always succeed at that part. My husband had to drag me back from down the perfection rabbit hole a time or two. I managed to get to Christmas far more rested than I have ever been.

It’s a cliche, but the older I get, the more conscious I am of just how quickly time moves. My parents are getting older, my kids have moved out, and realistically, we have fewer Christmases left than we have already had. Every Christmas that flies past, I realise the time spent is what matters. The details don’t have to be perfect. My entire family would much rather a calm, reflective mum than one who is biting everyone’s heads off, filled with anxiety, trying to make everything right.

My prayer for you is that, however your Christmas went this year, you were still able to make memories and enjoy small moments. Sometimes, we need to focus on all that we have, even in difficult times. Gratitude leads to hope, and hope is something that none of us can live without.